Nothing else matters the most of being better than you(r approach)

"Eles estao tocando nothin else matters agora"
That's was the message that wakes me up for this writting and I can't explain why everything went on this all...

I just love this song, because music to me is everything and all songs have some meaning at my life, every song have at least one meaning, some have more than millions of meanings. Even those I dislike, I dislike by a purpose and it will never be revealed, will never be shown unless by those subjective writtings.

There's was time when I just wanted to be understood and there's was a time I wanted to be accepted by someone or someones... but even that have passed through...

They had their chances and they let it go. I don't blame them for this, I wasn't there anyway... I was always inside some other deep world inside my own mind and that world wasn't that safe people think it was. No world inside someone's mind is a safe place, never. And deeper the world, worst the demons and angels are too.

From my deepest world there's a demoangel that is awake now, it may look tiny as an ant but is powerful like a dragon and awfully as well. This creature is nothing more nothing less than myself. And I still afraid of it.

I have a frighten fault with myself, lack of selfpitty and lack of selfconfidence. And it ends showing up as an worst fault: selfdepreciation, as much to my body than is to my mind, my life, my dreams and everything I touch and everything I care of.

I show it all the time and nobody stops to see it closer. And I pretend I don't care but I do, and this is a thing anybody who comes a little step in my direction can make it out.

That was not the message but the song... That message was only the answer for a question I made a loooooong time ago. That song made made a link to another song as a chain it linked another and yet another...

I wrote about chain thoughs on (((among parenthesys))) blog of mine and now I will go deep in that subject here.

In my mind every word reminds me a song and every song reminds me one or more facts that happens in my life. Sometimes a word take me to anther word who reminds me about a fact that reminds me about a song that is the soundtrack of another moment... and it is never a pattern that can be exposed to make some guide to 'how the things work'.

It was a time that I wasn't writting that much on this blog and this is long for a celphone-made entry.

See you latter, spiders, always you those who guards this place, who doesn't care and yet are here all the time...