Very Sad Very Sick

Thinking about a lot of thingd these times... and realized that I was suposed to be learning something about everything and I am not doing it, indeed.

When we came to be to this world, we are supposed to do a certain thing, it's just because we have to believe we had own sense in living but... who can tell it's true? And who is the one to say the obverse?

So, I'm sitting these days, sometimes laying and just looking to the nowere of the screen and thinking while trying to say something that makes sense. And that's noone comes. I used to read a lot of things just to be informed about the things happening on  the world and then I don't care anymore. Unless i still carring about a lot of things.

Ignorance made her day. Wisdom lost her soul. Knowledge don't make wisdom but made the "opposite of ignorance" (what's the real true word for this?) and dance... the eternal dance of life. People born, learn, live, teach, die... It is a good resumee, isn't it?

And everythnig changes again, and nothing have ever changed that much.

Always helping, always there for friends, and then solitude for the needed times alone... and then noone needs to be alone when surrouding by supposed friends. And needs an embrace, holds tight the pillow and have no time for tears 'cause the phone rings and there's someone in need again, or it was just the life calling for real again...

I am so sick of helping but I can't help to stop to do it. I am so sick of needing and getting nothing then... just because I have no words for what I need 'cause i just don't know what kind of need is this need.

I am just tired and sick of this routine lived far soo long. Everything need changes and I need changes and even the trees changes their leaves and I feel like a tree that wasn't changing for a long time, carrying the yellow leaves altogether.

And that's it. Nothing more to say 'cause there's really nothing said.